Counsellor advises women to have means of livelihood before marriage

Women at Google training workshop on Digital Marketing for Female business owners in Nigeria. (Photo TechCabal)
NAN-ELS-2
Marriage
Anita Eboigbe
Abuja, Oct. 24, 2017 (NAN) Lifestyle counsellor and blogger Motunrayo Oyemade, has advised women to have means of livelihood before they get married and begin to have children.
Oyemade, who runs an instagram blog ‘Wives and Mothers,’ told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja that most avoidable problems arose in the marriages when one of the couples often the woman is unemployed.
She stated that she did not fully grasp the depth of the problem until she conducted a recent opinion poll on her blog asking what women wished they had done before they got married.
According to her, the poll results indicated that over 90 per cent of the about 1,500 women respondents wished that they had found jobs or had sources of livelihood before they got married.
“They gave various issues that their joblessness had caused in their marriages.”
Oyemade said, “Unemployment in marriage is a big issue, women find themselves getting married before they get a job or further their education. They forget that marriage is a serious thing.
“There are a lot of things attached to being a mother or a wife and the responsibilities are so much, especially in this modern day that women cannot afford to be totally dependent on their husbands.
“Even if the man tells the woman to stay at home and not get a job, there are high chances that he will get tired.
“Women need to think outside the box as there are jobs they can do from their homes, the main thing is that you are adding value.”
She told NAN that unemployment among wives and mothers is a contributing factor to Post – Partum Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which makes some women feel on edge and depressed after childbirth.
According to her, PTSD is a rampant issue that most Nigerian women mask and hate to admit because of how it will make them look to the society as a woman is expected to be happy that she has given birth.
“A job can help take the woman’s mind off a lot as she is active and will give her a sense of self worth. I think stay – at – home mothers are more prone to PTSD,” Oyemade said.
Oyemade said that she started ‘Wives and Mothers’ in 2016 after she had her first baby and wanted a support system for herself and other women.
She said she was putting in place a project that will help less privileged women celebrate the Christmas season through donations.
Oyemade also expressed the hope to use the platform to inspire more women.
NAN reports that the blog has grown rapidly with over 500 thousand followers from around the world, mostly women who come to share life experiences and tips on how to be better wives and mothers. (NAN)
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Edited by Ekemini Ladejobi