Tantrums
By Justina Auta
Abuja, May 16,2018 (NAN) Some experts have stressed the need for self control and anger management in handling tantrums exhibited by their toddlers.
Tantrums involve the acts of whining, crying, screaming, kicking and hitting by a toddler to get what he or she wants.
In separate interviews with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Wednesday in Abuja, the experts attributed increase in misbehavior among young children to lack of emotional control by some parents, which affects the children.
Others blamed it on inadequate care, attention and nonchalant attitudes towards the appropriate disciplinary measures that should be meted on their children.
Mrs Precious Yusuf, a psychologist, said children between the ages of one and four use tantrums as a medium of expressing their needs, cravings, choice and power struggle.
” Some children between one and four years throw tantrums to seek the attention of their parents because they feel that is the only way to get it.
” Others do it to express their needs and particular choice, especially when faced with multiple choices to make from a range.
“For some kids, when they fail to manipulate or assert their decisions on some issues, they throw tantrums, especially in public places, because they know that they will get away with it, or the parents would give in to avoid public embarrassment.’’
Yusuf, therefore advised parents to always control their emotions, especially anger, in order to handle tantrums.
“Be calm, firm, understanding and explain to the child reasons for not giving in to his or her demands.
“Parents need to control themselves and not get carried away with anger when their children throw tantrums, especially in public places.
“Reacting angrily compounds the problem, rather than resolve it amicably,’’ she said
Similarly, Mrs Christiana Saleh, a retired educationist, blamed parents for inadequate care, lack of attention, nonchalance and lack of discipline as contributory factors to misbehavior and tantrums among children.
“A lot of young parents this days are more concerned about their careers and engaging in social media, rather than ensuring that proper care, attention and discipline of their children.
“Some of them leave the responsibility of disciplining their children to their house helps, whom, in most cases, the children do not obey and respect,’’ she noted.
Saleh, therefore stressed the need for parents to show love, affection and instill discipline in their children, from a young age, to avoid negative tendencies or influences they might imbibe in the future.
” Create time to interact with your child; give them your full attention; look for opportunities to point out their good behaviors and be aware of situations that may likely lead to a tantrum and plan accordingly on how to manage it.
” When you do that and control yourself more, rather than get angry whenever they misbehave, you will find out that they would behave well and throw tantrum less ,’’ she advised.
On his own part, Mr Mattew Adegoke, a kindergarten teacher, said he handled tantrums of his pupil by either talking to them, seizing toys they like, or make them sit at a corner to address the situation.
” There are appropriate measures, depending on the age, that you can take to instill discipline in children, without necessarily beating them.
” You could talk to them in a calm manner, correct them with love, and respect their feelings, offer them the option of sitting or standing in a corner by themselves, or even preventing them from watching their favourite programmes,’’ she said.
Adegoke, therefore, stressed the need for parents to avoid the habit of beating their children as a form of disciplinary measure or correcting them whenever they misbehaved .
Mrs Cynthia Oleh, a mother of five said she handles her children’s tantrum by ignoring, scolding or beating them, depending on the extent of their misbehavior.
” At times, when talking or warning doesn’t work, I beat them as a last resort, which, in most cases, makes them behave well,’’ she said.
Mrs Jummai Adamu, a mother of four, said she prefered to leave her children at home, especially when going to buy things for them, rather than allowing them to follow me, to prevent any display of tantrums.
” I handle them well at home because I know the appropriate disciplinary measure to instill in them when they misbehave, but when we are in public places, it is more difficult to punish them when they throw tantrums.
” One is restrained from punishing them appropriately and that makes some people to see you as a weak mother who cannot handle her children; that is why I prefer to leave them at home,” she said. (NAN)
JAD/ASH/ASH