Domestic violence: Experts advises victims to seek professional help
By Olasunkanmi Onifade
Assault
Abuja, June 1, 2018 (NAN) Ms Aisha Bubah, the Counselling Psychologist, Network for Psychosocial Support Africa (NPS-Africa), an NGO, on Friday advised victims of domestic violence to seek early professional help to unpleasant consequences.
Bubah told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja that violated victims, most especially men, need to speak up and not die in silence.
She warned that some violations by partners could lead to death.
“They should seek help from the right people around them or professionals.
“Open communication between couples is a good step towards acknowledging and working on a problem they are faced with.
“If there is a history of past abuse or trauma on the part of the abuser, it helps if they can seek psychological help and work through their trauma,” the expert said.
Bubah noted that domestic violence had assumed a new face in country, adding that the society had made one believe that men are the stronger sex.
She called for more awareness and need for people to express their needs without fear of being criticised or ridiculed.
The counsellor said the causes of domestic violence could be attributed to poor communication, saying conflict can lead to aggression.
“Other causes of domestic violence could be lack of empathy towards the other person, past traumatic experience when the abused was a victim of past abuse either in childhood or in past relationships.
“Stress can trigger abuse, cultural beliefs about the superiority, inferiority of one gender over the other, abuse can be a learned behaviour through observation and exposure to violence in families, schools and media,” she said.
Bubah however recommended for modelling appropriate behaviour for kids in order not to grow up feeling entitled to act aggressive towards a certain gender.
The Coordinator of African Women Lawyers Association, Abuja branch, Mrs Faozat Bakrin, said whether the violence was against men or women, it is still a crime.
Bakrin said there were laws that protect the antisocial act in the country, adding that victims need to come out of their machismo and report.
“Most NGOs have prevailed on the female victims to report the violence to authorities but there are comparative few efforts to encourage male victims to report.
“Most male victims prefer to remain silent for fear of social stigma. They are afraid of losing their machismo,” the legal practitioner said.
The National Publicity Secretary of FIDA, Princess Frank-Chukwuani, also noted that most men are hesitant to speak out due to fear of stigma and being term ‘weak’ in the society.
She said women abusing and killing their husbands or partners was typical of years of abuse from men.
“Most cases encountered at FIDA is the domestic violence against wives, the hope is that with the adoption and effective implementation of the VAPP Act in Nigeria, more people will be comfortable to bring their cases to court,” Frank-Chukwani said.
Mr Tope Omage, the Assistant Pastor, Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), House of Joy Parish, Gwagwalada, FCT, advised couples to learn to resolve issues in their marriage rather than engaging in violence.
She said couple should learn to appreciate one another and avoid unnecessary arguments, saying humour and forgiveness should be their watch word. (NAN)
OEO/MST
Edited by Muhammad Suleiman Tola