Why cases of domestic violence against men are rising – Experts
Cases
Ibadan, May 27, 2018 (NAN) The rising cases of domestic violence have been attributed to increasingly popular fad of female chauvinism, poverty, declining value of the extended family system and reluctance of the male victims to speak out due to associated stigma.
Respondents, among who were clinical psychologists, sociologists, rights activists and clerics, told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in separate interviews that concerted action must be taken to stem the menace.
A psychologist, Mr Segun Adeoye, said the rising cases of domestic violence could be attributed to “the culture of silence among victims’’.
“’The reason why most people believe that men are not abused is because they hardly speak out like women do.
“This boils down to the societal belief that men should be stronger and cannot be victims of such, but it happens.
“They should help us to help them so that this menace can be curbed,” Adeoye said.
On his part, Dr Yusuf Muhammad of the Department of Sociology, University of Ilorin, attributed the growing trend of domestic violence against men to poverty and demented values in the society.
“Part of the problem is the economic state of the nation. There is wide-spread poverty in the country.
“The women are now in some cases the breadwinners of the family,” he said.
Muhammad, who noted the absence of trust among spouses, also lamented the declining values in the extended family system in the country.
He attributed this to modernisation and its attendant ills, adding that the extended family system ought to have checked marital issues before they degenerate to fatal domestic violence.
“The influence from foreign culture, women emancipation and education, have all contributed to such societal issues we are witnessing,” he said.
Alhaji Abdullahi AbdulHamned, the Chief Imam and Imale of Ilorin, attributed the high rate of domestic violence to lack of sincerity on the part of some husbands.
According to him, the current trend of domestic violence will continue until husbands are sincere to their wives.
To curb the trend, AbdulHameed called for sincerity of purpose among couples while potential husbands must refrain from “making fake promise of remaining with one wife for life’’.
Prof. Egbe Idehen, a professor of clinical psychology at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, believes some of the causative factors of domestic violence could be emotional, verbal, physical as well as sexual and communication gap.
He said mutual understanding between couples is a solution to domestic violence.
The don also urged couples to always seek the help of professionals such as clinical psychologists, marriage counsellors and psychologists to solve their marital crisis.
Mrs Olayinka Ojomo-Ajibola, a girl child rights activist, described the new face of domestic violence against men by their wives as a reflection of the growing trend of modern ‘feminine chauvinism’.
Ajibola, who is the Executive Director of Girls Child Rights Awareness Initiative in Africa, an NGO, said the change in the mode of violence in which the husband is the victim explains the new trend of feminine orientation.
According to her, this tends toward liberalism as a result of multifaceted factors such as economy, social exposure and education.
Ajibola averred that the change in economic template in the family in which men are no more the sole determinant of economic life of the household makes women more agitated and less submissive.
She said an economically independent wife naturally demands more self-esteem and could resort to violence to achieve that goal at the slightest provocation.
She also mentioned increase in the level of infidelity on the part of men which, according to her, practically erodes trust and confidence with an attendant aggression from women who are at the receiving end.
Ajibola, however, said that there was an urgent need for change in social orientation through advocacy in different communities and among families.
Ajibola added that local governments should make marriage counselling compulsory and a prerequisite to use by the marriage registry.
Mr Olalekan Adebayo, a legal practitioner, said infidelity remains one of the factors responsible for domestic violence against men.
“Most women always feel bad or hurt whenever they have knowledge of their partners cheating on them.
“They threaten their partners on several occasions before embarking grievous acts, which sometimes result in the death of the man,’’ Adebayo said.
But the Osun Police Public Relation Officer, DSP Folashade Odoro, said it would be difficult to ascertain the causative factors for the new trend of domestic violence against men.
Odoro said based on the record of domestic violence available to the command, men had not been reporting cases of domestic violence against them.
“It is very difficult to ascertain what can make a woman to kill her husband. It is normal in marriage for couple to have misunderstanding but the reason for the killing might be hard to ascertain,’’ she said.
But Mrs Abiola Abiodun, a member of Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA) in Oyo State, believes the trend is persisting because men who report are stigmatised.
“Men who report domestic violence can face social stigma regarding their perceived lack of machismo and other degradations of their masculinity,’’ she said.
Abiodun described as pathetic the prevalence of domestic violence against men in Nigeria.
“The wives who kill their husbands may have done so in self defense, but when the offence is committed, the law and society may not always see it this way.
“This is why I advocate divorce or separation as soon as elements of abuse, assault or attacks are employed in domestic violence,’’ she added.
She also called on Civil Society Organisations (CSOs) to focus more on advocacy, sensitisation and campaigns on violence against men.
The lawyer also advised men going through such experience to always speak out and seek help on time.
The President of the Customary Court in Ake, Abeokuta, Mrs Helen Majokodunmi, advocated longer courtships between intending couples as panacea for the growing trend of domestic violence in Nigeria.
Majekodunmi said courtships should not be less than 12 months to enable intending couples sufficiently study and observe themselves and determine if they would be able to live together.
She warned the youths against relationships through internet or social media without proper investigations into family backgrounds.
Majekodunmi also called on religious bodies to provide quality pre-marital counselling programmes for intending couples while encouraging the partners to engage elderly people to whom they could defer or experienced marriage counsellor for safe and healthy relationship skills.
The former Chairman of the Ogun chapter of the Christian Association of Nigeria (NAN), Rev. Timothy Ajibola, urged religious bodies to emphasise love, respect and tolerance, particularly among couples.
He urged the womenfolk not to misinterpret the campaign for women liberation as equality between husband and wife, adding that “the divine organogram recognises the man as the head of the family’’.
“Many women have gone into marriage with the mindset to defend their supposed equal right with men and this often compels them to be on the defence always with low level of patience and tolerance,’’ he said.
Mr Olakunle Sanni, the Executive Director, Childhood Advancement Response and Empowerment Initiative (CARE Initiative), an NGO, emphasised proper upbringing of children.
“Some of the children or the youths who have on many occasions watched either of their parents assault each other and grew with such negative scenes which have registered into their subconscious have great potential of exhibiting such attitude later in life,” he said.
The Ekiti government says it is tackling all forms of domestic violence through its law on domestic violence.
The Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr Idowu Adelusi, warned that residents must not miscontrue the existing Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act 2015 of the National Assembly and the state version of the same law.
“The governor has said it emphatically that domestic violence such as women battery and rape would not be condoned by his administration under whatever guise
“In the same token, any woman found guilty of beating her husband or doing anything harmful in the process will also be liable for the same degree of punishment,’’ he said.
Mr Ibironke Lawrence, South West Coordinator, Health Reform Foundation of Nigeria, advocated massive sensitisation of the female populace as a solution to domestic violence perpetrated against men.
“Human beings react differently, hence the women folk need to be educated in order to let them know the consequences of their actions.
“They have to be aware because some people don’t think of the repercussions before taking actions. They need to cultivate tolerance for others.
“Through sensitisation such as mass education and workshops for women, their orientation might change for the better,” he said.
In the same vein, Chief Eyinlanwo Ilesanmi, a high chief in Okitipupa, said that violence by women against men was often borne out of jealousy.
“Women are more dangerous now than men and I think jealousy of women is the cause.
“I think men should be very careful now with infidelity as many women might go to any length to fight for what is their own,” Ilesanmi said.
Alhaji Yunus Junaid, Head of Mission, Board of NASFAT, Akure, said the trend stemmed from the belief of women that they are being cheated in the society by their male peers.
“As a result, they may decide to take it to the extreme due to their weakness.
“Our women have changed completely from the polite and submissive African women that they used to be.
“They have imbibed the western world’s culture of gender equality.
“There is this feminine movement campaign which insists that women need to take over and should not be relegated among their peers.
“This is the genesis of the whole problem. Our women no longer see their spouses as the head of the family. They want to challenge everything men do because the western world has poisoned their minds and introduced crazy ideas such as gender equality and gay marriage.
“The only solution to this problem is to go back to our roots and take only what is good from foreign culture and blend them with the good ones in our own culture.
“We should not imbibe the western culture hook, line and sinker. In Africa, we respect and see men as heads and leaders in the society and not the other way round,” the cleric said. (NAN)
Reporters/OJO/MST
Edited by Muftau Ojo/Muhammad Suleiman Tola